Wedding Invitation Etiquette Guide · Fête Society

Fête Society · A Stationer's Guide

The Art of the
Wedding Invitation

Everything you need to know about wording, etiquette, and the details that make an invitation truly memorable.

01

Anatomy of an Invitation

Your invitation has one job: to give guests exactly what they need to show up - dressed appropriately, at the right place and time, knowing what to expect. Every line serves a purpose. Here's how they break down.

i Host Line Who's throwing the party - traditionally the bride's parents, but modern couples have options.
ii Request Line "The honour of your presence" for a house of worship; "the pleasure of your company" everywhere else.
iii Names Bride's name traditionally appears first. Full names for formal; first and last for modern.
iv Date & Time Spell it out for formal invitations: "Saturday, the fifth of June, two thousand twenty-five."
v Location Venue name and city, state only - no zip codes, no street address unless a private home.
vi Reception "Reception to follow" if same location; a separate card if the reception is elsewhere.
A note on formality. The wording you choose does a lot of the talking before guests even arrive. A spelled-out date and "the honour of your presence" signals black tie. First names and "join us" signals barefoot beach. Let the language do its job.
02

Wording 101

Invitation wording has its own grammar - a set of conventions that have held up for a reason. They're not fussy rules for rules' sake; they're shorthand that communicates formality, intention, and care at a glance.

The Classics
Spell out dates, times, and states in full
Use "honour" and "favour" if you want the British spelling - just stay consistent throughout the suite
Religious venues call for "the honour of your presence"; secular venues get "the pleasure of your company"
Bride's name traditionally leads - though more couples are going with what feels right to them
Worth Skipping
Registry information on the invitation - that lives on your website
The bride's married name - you're not there yet
"No kids" - opt for something warmer, like "an adults-only celebration"
Abbreviations - spell out Boulevard, Street, and all state names
On dress code. If you're expecting black tie, put it on the invitation - guests will appreciate the heads up. Otherwise, your wording and design will do the signaling. A formal invitation implies a formal evening. Guests are good at reading the room.

Not sure where your invitation falls on the formality spectrum? Click each style below to see a sample request line.

Formal · Religious Ceremony
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Formal · Non-Religious
request the pleasure of your company
at the celebration of their marriage
Modern · Couple Hosting
invite you to share in the joy
of the beginning of their new life together
Casual · Warm & Personal
Together with their families
invite you to celebrate their wedding
03

Who's Hosting

The host line - those first names at the top of the invitation - tells the story of who is gathering people together. Traditionally it was the bride's parents; today it's one of the most personal choices couples make. Here are the most common scenarios.

Formal · Religious
Mr. and Mrs. John Andrew Lowe
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Madison Joy
to
Mr. William Patrick Smith

*"To" is used when someone other than the couple is hosting and for Christian weddings. "And" is preferred for Jewish weddings.
Formal · Secular
Mr. and Mrs. John Andrew Lowe
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Madison Joy
to
Mr. William Patrick Smith
Formal
Mr. and Mrs. John Andrew Lowe
together with
Mr. and Mrs. Peter Anthony Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their children
Alternate
Mr. and Mrs. John Andrew Lowe
and
Mr. and Mrs. Peter Anthony Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their children
Formal
Madison Joy Lowe
and
William Patrick Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at the celebration of their wedding
Casual
Together with their families
Madison Lowe and William Smith
invite you to their wedding
Formal · Secular
Mr. and Mrs. Peter Anthony Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Madison Joy Lowe
to their son
William Patrick
Including middle names. Very formal invitations include middle names for everyone - hosts, bride, and groom. For a more modern feel, first and last names are perfectly elegant.
04

Special Scenarios

Family situations are rarely simple, and invitation wording shouldn't make them feel more complicated. Here's how to handle the most common scenarios with grace.

List each parent on their own line - no "and." The mother's name traditionally appears first.

Formal
Ms. Katherine May Lowe
Mr. John Andrew Lowe
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter

Each parent's current household appears on its own line. The stepparent is included naturally with the remarried parent.

Formal
Mr. and Mrs. Adam Richard Kennedy
Mr. and Mrs. John Andrew Lowe
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Madison Joy Lowe
Formal · Secular
Mrs. Katherine May Lowe
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
Madison Joy

It's most graceful to honor a late parent within the couple's name block rather than in the host line.

Formal
Madison Joy Lowe
daughter of Mrs. Katherine Lowe
and the late Mr. John Lowe
and
William Patrick Smith
request the honour of your presence

All of the above frameworks apply - simply use the names and titles that feel right for the couple. "At the marriage of" and "at the celebration of their wedding" both work beautifully regardless of gender.

05

Enclosures & Inserts

The invitation itself should stay clean. Everything that doesn't belong on the main card lives on an enclosure - which is also an opportunity to add another layer of design to the suite.

Required when the reception is at a different location than the ceremony. Include the venue name, city, and time if the reception doesn't immediately follow. For very formal weddings, even same-location reception information traditionally lives on a separate card.

Keep the wording consistent with your invitation - if you used "the honour of your presence," mirror it with "the favour of a reply." Set the RSVP deadline three to four weeks before the wedding to give yourself time for a final headcount.

Formal
The favour of a reply is requested
by the first of August
Modern
Kindly reply by August first

This is where your wedding website URL lives, along with hotel room blocks, transportation info, dress code notes, or the weekend itinerary for destination weddings. Keep the tone consistent with the rest of your suite.

More traditional and formal invitations use an inner and outer envelope. On the inner envelope, write the names of the specific guests invited - "Ms. Keats and guest" or "The Manning Family." Modern couples often skip the inner envelope for a more streamlined feel, though in some regions (particularly the South) it remains a standard expectation.

Registry on the invitation is a no. It reads as presumptuous. Your website is the right home for registry details - and most guests know to look there. Let your planner or immediate family spread the word the old-fashioned way.
06

Proofing Like a Pro

The design is where we get to have a little fun - but when it comes to wording, we love a classic. Clear, concise, and timeless never goes out of style. Your suite includes three complimentary revisions, so we always recommend arriving with your wording finalized and every detail confirmed before we go to print.

Your pre-approval checklist

Every name is spelled correctly - including middle names and hyphenated surnames
The date and day of the week actually match (this one catches people more than you'd think)
The time is accurate - and spelled out if you're going formal
The venue name is spelled exactly as the venue spells it
City and state are both included
Your RSVP date gives you a comfortable buffer before the wedding
Spelling is consistent throughout - "honour" and "favour," or "honor" and "favor" - not both
Dress code is included if you have specific expectations for your guests
Our favorite proofing trick. Read it back to front, right to left - it forces your eye to slow down and catch what your brain wants to skip. Yes, even "to" and "marriage" are fair game for a sneaky typo.
07

Addressing Etiquette

The envelope is the very first thing your guests will hold. Getting the addressing right is a sign of care and intention - and a few simple conventions go a long way toward making every guest feel properly seen.

Always spell everything out in full - no abbreviations, no shortcuts.

Correct
Missouri, Texas, New York
Six Penelope Street (house numbers one through nine)
Number Twelve South Kennedy Drive
Saint Louis, Missouri 63130
Five-digit zip codes only
Avoid
MO, TX, NY
6 Penelope St
#12 S Kennedy Dr.
St. Louis, MO 63130
Extended zip codes (63130-3578)

Always use full given names with proper honorifics and punctuation. And a helpful rule of thumb for "Mrs." - it translates to "the wife of." Say it to yourself and see if it checks out.

Correct
Mr. John Lowe
The Reverend John Lowe
Ms. Katherine Lowe
Mrs. Katherine Lowe ("the wife of" John Lowe ✓)
Avoid
Mr John Lowe (missing period)
Rev. John Lowe (abbreviate only informally)
Mrs. Katherine Lowe used as her own name ("the wife of" Katherine ✗)
"Miss" vs. "Ms." - "Miss" is reserved for guests under 18. "Ms." is correct for all women 18 and older, including divorced women regardless of which name they use.

Using "and" between two names signals a married couple. For unmarried partners, list each name on its own line. Whatever connector you choose - "and," "&," or "+" - stay consistent throughout the entire guest list.

Married · Outer Envelope
Ms. Susan Lake and
Mr. Luke Klein
Unmarried · Outer Envelope
Ms. Susan Lake
Mr. Luke Klein

Ladies first - always. When both partners hold a title, lead with the woman's name regardless of last name.

She's a doctor · Shared last name
Dr. Caroline and Mr. George O'Malley
She's a doctor · Different last names
Dr. Caroline Felix and
Mr. George O'Malley
Both are doctors · Shared last name
The Doctors O'Malley
Both are doctors · Different last names
Dr. Caroline Felix and
Dr. George O'Malley

If you know your guest's partner, always include their name - it's a sign of respect, and it also means your guest can't swap them out for someone else. "And guest" is an open invitation for anyone they choose, so use it intentionally. Reserve "and guest" for the inner envelope only.

Named Guest · Inner Envelope
Taylor and Tyler
Open Plus-One · Inner Envelope Only
Taylor and Guest
On consistency. Decide on a clear rule - everyone over 18 gets a plus-one, or no one outside the wedding party does - and stick to it. When you start weighing whose relationship matters more, feelings get hurt. A clear policy applied evenly is always the kindest approach.

"The Johnson Family" belongs on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, list the parents and children by name. Anyone over 18 - whether they live at home or not - should receive their own separate invitation. If you're hosting an adults-only celebration, simply don't list children's names on the envelopes. Most guests will read the room; handle any exceptions gracefully and individually.

Outer Envelope
The Kennedy Family
Inner Envelope
Mary and John
Jill and Jack

A handful of details that tend to come up - worth knowing before your list is locked.

Ladies always appear first on inner envelopes
If two friends are dating, consider sending separate invitations - if things change before the wedding, you'll be glad you did
You don't have to send everyone a save the date - but everyone who receives one should receive an invitation
We'd recommend holding off on save the dates for coworkers - it's easier to add someone to the invitation list than to walk back an extended save the date
Spelling is everything - Fête Society will print exactly what you submit, so review your guest list carefully before it's finalized
Once your list is locked. Any changes to names, addresses, or guest counts after submission will need to come to us in writing via email. We'll make sure everything is updated correctly on our end.